Goodbye 2017

 

Sometimes, the mind gets lost inside the mire of anxiety, like a hamster caught in an ever spinning wheel, so focused on the effort of running that one can forget to hop off the relentless vicious cycle. Feeling unwell from an unpleasant juxtaposition between Christmas feasting and irritable bowel syndrome, caught in the doldrums of self-deprecation, I was just about to declare 2017 a year of absolute non-achievement (yes, utterly ridiculous but that was my mindset at the time) when I decided to take a long, deep breath, sit down and make a list of the activities I had engaged in through the year. Truth be told, 2017 was actually a literal beehive of activity. I was surprised, duly chastised for my negativity, a tad shamefaced yet relieved – I needed that stern reality check! Continue reading

monkey

Another high pain day. Nevertheless, stubborn resilience is a trait I am thankful to have acquired through the rigorous boot camp of growing up in an era where there was no such thing as neurodiversity. There are pros and cons to this, and I am lucky to have emerged mostly intact, but here we are, and I attack each new day with as much vigour as I can gather. Lucy is a great help, she keeps me going and persevering. So, the balcony was vacuumed and swept, as was the entire tiny studio flat and the rugs. I packed up some of Lucy’s things, duplicates that she no longer needs, to donate to other Greyhounds in need. Then I did some cooking. My plan is to cook enough for the next few meals so that I don’t have to spend too much time in the kitchen and can spend more of the precious commodity on my work. I am not a workaholic, I am just passionate about what I am doing, and I find immense pleasure and fulfillment in it, so why not? Continue reading

passionate joy

Detail of DOODLE DREAMS - work in progress

THE OBSESSIVE JOY OF AUTISM

I love this beautifully written piece. In some circles, the word ‘obsession’ may carry negative connotations. I would choose to use the description ‘passion’ instead. To me, the dreamy poet musician and sensory indulgent, ‘passion’ seems to associate in my brain with joy, pleasure and all things wonderful, while ‘obsession’ merely means intense focus at the expense of everything else. So, I read this blog post substituting ‘passion’ for ‘obsession’ and it brought a wide smile to my silly face!