bloviation & the sacrificial lamb


bloviating babble bubbles

I learned this new word from my friend Rick. I like it. It has a robust movement to its physical form, flow and force. It sounds and feels like thick copious slimy globules arising from a pit of bubbling sludge. This word has a sensorial constitution that matches its meaning. Thank you, Rick!

“Bloviation” – such a proliferate and aggressively dominating activity in the field of Autism and Neurodiversity. Autism is a trendy topic these days, isn’t it? Everyone – from the housewife ‘AutismMom’ to the Professor in Psychiatry, and the outright quacks touting ‘cures’ and ‘healing touches’ mushrooming like unbridled viruses in between – seems to be dancing vigorously around the jolly campfire of Autism.The word makes me think of the many (I have lost count now, it is a long and wearying list) instances of having to silently endure protracted lectures, workshops, conversations, discussions, seminars, forums, conferences etc where non-autistic / neurotypical, so-called ‘experts in the field’ (with ‘decades of experience’ working with countless autistic persons, of course) blather on and on, expounding theories constructed out of little or no insights from actual lived-experiences, confidently spreading erroneous or inaccurate ideas and information, without due citations from progressive science or quoting from old and outdated studies, musing in hyped-up dramatic tones, and performing plastic rituals that ooze tokenism… Continue reading

innocence in dreams

Another nonverbal day. The last few days have been even more of a struggle than usual. Is it even possible, without completely losing the plot? Yes, it seems so. I am still here. Still relatively coherent, very much alive (the pain tells me that, very clearly so), but in a surreal state of high-pitched silently shrieking fugal stretto. At the same time… oh no, there’s that Pina Bausch Le Sacre dance scene again! How do they all coexist? I do not know. They just do. It’s all ‘going on’ in there, a palpable, concretely physical unfolding in the abstract realm of my brain. Yep. Go figure. Continue reading

le sacre

This video is a repost. I love Pina Bausch. This woman knew about passion in a very cogent, stark and confronting way. Her work lives on forever and grows more and more powerful in the inspiration of those who embrace, resonate with and admire her work.

As a musician, I have always been fascinated by Igor Stravinsky. Le Sacre du Printemps remains one of my favourite works. Stravinsky’s music has very concrete links to the visual and tactile senses, to me, they are not meant merely for ‘listening’ to alone. That said, even though I am not a true synaesthete, I am nevertheless unable to engage merely one sense in conscious isolation, in any case. Pina Bausch’s interpretation of this work is the best I have ever seen. Her work is full of tactile associations, with sometimes overwhelming emotional, psychological and philosophical threads interwoven into a massive confronting tapestry yet so delicately intricate and detailed at the same time.

Both Stravinksy and Bausch are “in-your-face” geniuses. Their work speak things that makes some people uncomfortable, and yet brings immense exhilaration to others. These are no bland, neutral background New Age sonic sensorial stirring in the cosmic atmosphere. These are challenges to spirit, soul, body (senses) and intellect.

Autism, too, is “in-your-face.” Therein lies our strength, but also our vulnerability. We are not to be easily obfuscated, even when we may be easy prey to those who seek to control and manipulate us. Continue reading


Red is a wonderful colour. I love red. I wear red. I like the taste of red. I love tomatoes, red bell peppers (capsicum), beets, strawberries and cherries. But the most effective and powerful is the red of the chilli – the associations are extremely strong and fiery spicy. This is not a synaesthete response, but probably more a learned response, because the red chilli pepper is a staple addition to much of South East Asian, South Asian and Northern Chinese cooking. To me, the most spicy in a tongue numbing way is what we (in SE Asia) call the Thai chilli paid, small, tiny, bright red little things which pack a mighty punch to the taste buds!

Here is a photograph of dried chilli, commonly used in South East Asian cooking, as well as Northern Chinese dishes – these do not have any distinct smell, but again, the visual image does trigger a sharp olfactory response! Ooo… I suddenly feel like a fiery dish of kungpao chicken, original Szechuan style! (The lack of sharp focus must’ve been a pseudo-synaesthete response – watery eyes?)

And I like the sound and movement of red. Perhaps the closest sound to red that can represent what I am hearing, and seeing, is Pina Bausch’s choreography of Stravinsky’s sacrificial dance in the “Right of Spring”.