lead puffs

incessant inundation

weight of the world

mired in fetid swirl

demanding bits bobs

flotsam jetsam

to you

but me

pieces of my body

painfully sliced

piece by piece

shred by shred

excruciating agony

but no

have to

look here

look there

no, this

oh, that

chat, chat, chat

 

smile

wave

read this

listen to that

what do you think?

any advice?

here’s cake

eat

there’s steak

feast

be grateful

be happy

be cheerful

be merry

but most of all

BE VERY VERY VERY CLEVER

you’ve a PhD

… right?

 

all I want to do is just sleep

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learning how to stand

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We went to the imaging centre again this morning. It was the same centre where I had had a number of Xrays not so long ago. The staff on duty at the time were very friendly, and Lucy was welcomed as an essential part of my presence, just as a wheelchair user and her wheelchair, or a blind person with his guide dog. This morning, however, we were met with a disapproving scowl from the radiologist, and I was told I wasn’t allowed to bring my dog in. She then turned her back to me, and walked on ahead towards the door leading to the imaging rooms. I followed behind, and explained (speaking to her back) that Lucy is my service dog, but she cut me short, and rambled on like an annoyed school teacher that this was a “sterile environment” etc. At that point, I just stopped in my tracks and said, “Well… if it is a problem…” as calmly and clearly as I could, even though my head had begun to pound and my heart felt like it was falling into a greasy pit of cheap cheddar cheese. Continue reading

frayed nerves and gratitude

It has taken me awhile to process the experiences in entirety, wading through the flotsam and jetsam of frayed nerves, illogical-logical emotions of despair, anger and fear. My body is still trying to recover from the sensory collapse, and it doesn’t help to have an equally sensitive autoimmune condition, of course. The experience has left us both frazzled, but for me, I now carry a deep sense of gratitude for my precious Lucy. Continue reading

distress, anxiety and food

Meals have been uninspired and hastily cooked this weekend. I am still suffering from the physical and mental fatigue left over from the craziness of the last few weeks.

Apart from having to tackle the laundry piles and the dust bunnies, I have also been battling distress and anxiety over an situation that entails what I perceive to be deliberate and targeted intrusions upon my privacy. I’ve written about this in my other site, access the musing here if you want to read about it: A Thin Fine Line đŸ™‚

However, if you only wish to stick to food and weather topics, this is it. Continue reading