After the foggy, damp start, the sun broke through with a forceful brilliance. A great day for washing, washing, and washing! A mission it was, after all, to breathe and touch cleanliness once more. So here, today, the full languid process unfurls.

How glorious is a gentle, warm shower, twice shampoo-ed hair, conditioned,  soaped and scrubbed down all over, turning slowly, touching cool smooth tiles, toes wriggling, and twirling carefully inside happy space. An old bathroom, just like the other one, but scrubbed and maintained. No cloying stink of rancid human embedded in threads of unkempt soggy towels, no dust or grime smeared across floor tiles, and no running out of water mid-way through. A little luxury too much taken for granted – basic, unhindered access to hygienic practice. Ah, the wonderment of squeaky clean hair! Continue reading


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Accommodating grace, graciously accommodating.

This post is in response to yet another powerful piece of thinking by Judy Endow. Read it here: Autism, Accommodation and Differential Expectations.

Ah, accommodations… Sometimes, people make accommodations for me, announced with a warm fuzzy glow, and then suddenly withdraw them because it’s no longer comfortable for them to continue, and leave me to fend for myself without offering me any other alternatives. In the meantime, I am making accommodations for them all the time, being grateful, showing gratitude as best as I can, taking into account their own neurodiversity quirks, and, yes, even in the way I do not rant and scream when said promised accommodations are abruptly withdrawn. It is very very tiring, making accommodations for anyone, but the Endeavour of Empathy is important. We must not stop endeavouring, though let’s not forget that the endeavour is to Self as much as to Other. We autists struggling to survive this terrain need to remember that empathy is for Self too, because so often the demands of normative social constructs say we must do otherwise, and so we do. Continue reading

laces & braces



Thinking of my friend M again today.

In many ways, he comes across as an enigma. Yet, as my own journey unfolds along the rocky road of survival, I begin to empathise in a deeper and more resonant way with M’s quirks. A proud man living on charity, his is a tension-filled dichotomous existence.

Once upon a time, when I was in a better position to dispense grace, we chatted about setting up a little shed space in my backyard for him. Perhaps he was only half joking, I shall never know, but I took it all most earnestly and threw myself into preparing the little haven for him. However, when the time came, and I invited M to view the clean up effort and discuss the kind of sleeping apparatus he preferred, he balked at the whole idea and disappeared into the nebulous haze of social obscurity and anonymity enshrouding the homeless. I was unable to contact him for months thereafter, in fact, it wasn’t until I had moved out of that home that he emerged again. Continue reading

hashtag for charity

Here is a fantastic initiative by OzHarvest and Virgin. Every time you tag a photograph of food with #mealforameal, Virgin Mobile will make a donation to OzHarvest, who in turn will donate a meal to those who cannot afford to feed themselves decently. Read more about it in this link.

So, here goes then. This is my latest pork roast. The crackle was crackly until I put it in the fridge, of course, but what could I do, it just isn’t possible to eat the entire lot in one sitting, even for a greedy Foodie Bunny!

(P.S. I experimented with saving some energy by melting the palm sugar – gula melaka – in a pot on top of the ovenette. Quite satisfactory results, I daresay, since heating it directly will cause the sugar to burn, and double boiling is a slow process. This was quite a good alternative!)