the action of disconnecting or separating or the state of being disconnected.
Shared stories from neurodivergent people differ in hue, colour, strokes and intricate detail about their experiences of the state of mind-body disconnect that is “dissociation”. But all bear one similarity – that it happens because of pain, too much pain for the mind to bear, like a meltdown from sensory overload, though in this case the sense is excruciating pain, pure and unfiltered.
I wrote this Ode to Dissociation for all those who know it and are living it, the brave who have no choice but to be. This is not about death, really, it is about living in unending hell. That is what people who experience dissociation tell me. I think they must be right.
Depart from me, tender soul, your presence is not wanted. Inside tumultuous raging sea, this vulnerability attracts destruction, and annihilation becomes an inevitability.
Leave this terrifying arena, you have not the grit and boldness for the gory fight, you are but a diaphanous delicate entity, and the pounding hoofs of bulls are crushing you beneath.
Empty the soul, stand outside, dissociate from the incessant kicking of steel-capped boots, turn away if you can, do not watch, as this shell becomes limp and wearied, as it withers away.
Depart from me, tender soul, your presence is a burden that hastens annihilation. In death, we shall yet remain alive. This is an ancient trick, a grand sorcery of the mind, for survival of the fittest!