elemental

2016-01-30-10.25.42lucytailbandage

shell of eternal grief

It isn’t about “forgiveness” – a dimension too much talked about yet too little understood by all. This is about the severance of an element, after an irreversible interruption. Sometimes, what is broken may be put back together again and in doing so, a new creation is formed (because the break can never be mended as if there never was). Other times, gold can be poured to symbolically fuse the fragments together as a work of artistry and beauty. However, in some situations, when the fragmented part completely vanishes into the wasteland of cosmic nothingness, there can be no rectification, renovation, restoration or even remolding. It is gone. Forever.

Add to that howling eternal void, and the inconsolable grief that shall remain with me and the one you harmed for the rest of our lives, there is that the simple fact that no valuable gesture of repentance has been offered. The popular and commonly misread word, “forgiveness,” is inappropriate to insert into this anti-space. So, stop bleating and whining about your distress, pathetic vapid expressions so contemptible in its essence. Even if it may move the social gathering around the camp fires of superficiality, it will not move me. I do not care for general social consensus, nor am I afraid of censure from those who have no knowledge of what I speak.

Simply put. I shall never acknowledge your existence in my physical domain again. Your embodiment, all it represents, no doubt remains in the entrails of my bereavement, but all outward corroboration – gestural, verbal or social – that I may have had to muster for you out of sheer tolerance before, has now traveled the way of the precious entity that you have destroyed. I did not even get to bid it goodbye. I was not allowed to speak, see, smell, touch or signalise its passing. And so you shall go that way too. Because it has to be. Nothing more, nothing less.

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