the way you haunt my dreams

It’s Christmas time again.

I dislike festive seasons.

Heartbreaking loneliness… No, not me, but too many people are lonely and alone, and the starkness is brought home most cruelly during festivities such as Christmas.

Me? I balk at Christmas (etc) because of the excruciating sensory overload. I love my friends, but official festivities are extremely taxing on my hyper senses. I want to be alone with Lucy, not at party after party, not buried under a deluge of noise and human bodies. But… life is a duty, and I take my responsibility towards my non-autistic friends very seriously. Friends make life better. And never more so than now, friends are the people who help me along my journey. So, when friends want to gather, when friends honour me with their inclusion in what are happy occasions for them, then I quell my own aversion, brace my senses, and embrace the love. I find the little slivers of joy – the treasure trove of smiles and laughter – amidst the jaw clamping endurance of sensory pain.

True friends are worth it. Just as my eccentricities have not deterred them from caring about me, their strange (to me, that is) preferences for abundant socialising should not stop me from embracing our diversity.

Christmas… the only one thing I do miss… Is opening Christmas presents with daddy. I miss daddy. Yup. That is all that I miss about Christmases past.

For now… Tis the season to brace up for the overloading jollies! And please, don’t forget the lonely people around you. If you can, perhaps invite someone into your home for a meal? Or sit on a park bench with a homeless friend?

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