Wrapped inside cocoon of solitude
Rest… renewal… restoration
In the company of silent Angel
When was the last time you breathed with such resonance and depth?
In the company of human cacophonies, one only steals shallow breaths.
Yet brimming over
Chattering elements without semantic demands
Do not ask me what is wrong
About being alone
Ask instead what is right
Thinking through the body
Vibrating with materiality
A lot has been said about the negative side of over-socialising and sensory meltdowns, when autists attempt to meet the constant clamorous dictates of the neurotypical social domain. For a change, I would like to share some reflections on the amazing dimension of solitude.
Today was a wonderful nonverbal day. I wish there could be more of such days. Living inside an alien socialscape, the neurotypical networks of sociability and social reciprocity demand rigorous attention. Performance is key – but the stage is enervating, draining of life blood and fatiguing to the soul. I love the Grand Theatre, there is so much to enjoy in the company of good friends. But it is also rigorous and exacting, and I delight in the precious intervals, where there need be no verbal speech, no choking tentacles wringing away time, no extraneous needless necessities… Just Being in Me, in wordless synchrony with Lucy, celebrating renewal, rejuvenation, clement tranquility.
Mozart played in my headspace. Lucy emanated warm pulsating joy. I ruminated on John Cage, listening and hearing. The day flew by too quickly. A last sensory indulgence, time to crawl into bed with my sweet Princess. She is beckoning with eloquent eyes.
And now, here is a little clippet from my wonderful day of peace and solitude… a Tiny Symphonic Poem… deliberately blurry eyed, pixelated, quivering shapes and shades… listen with your fingers…