folly

Sensory & cognitive juxtaposition for the day: Fools and Fish.

Folly is a trait of fools. Today, I committed an act of folly, and hence for those moments, I donned the fool’s hat and cape. I saw a post on a good friend’s Facebook feed about smacking of young children, and I commented. The problem was my opinion is a controversial one and touches on a somewhat sensitive subject – one that the majority of humans, regardless of neurological culture, tend to share a common perspective on. The superiority of the human creature, and the ultimate wonder of the human young. I do not share this view, and I was open about it. I stated that I am dead against smacking. But I also offered some contrary views. Note that I very carefully worded my language to reflect a personal viewpoint. I was in no way declaring that anyone ought to adopt my Universal Truth. However, I was viciously attacked by one of my friend’s friends. 

The venomous savagery against my person was shocking, but not surprising.

Healthy disagreement? Yes, please. Robust intellectual discussion? Yes, please, please. But full on personal assaults? No, not decent at all. I did try to diffuse it, by telling the person she was welcome to disagree, but no, she would not leave it there. She continued her denunciation of my person. Relentless. I withdrew, and blocked her. Pointless. However, I did apologise to my friend, a very good chap, and I think he decided to delete that post.

Ah, personal attacks on online social media. Almost Troll-like, except that I find it worse, because they are friends of friends and not strangers from out of nowhere.

Nevertheless. It reflects very clearly on the person launching the attack.

However, I have no illusions of grandeur and moral superiority. The truth is, more the fool I am to engage a fool in a time wasting exchange.

Ah well, that is the wonderful world of online socialising. Yes, I live and learn. 🙂 Now, time for some of that leftover salmon calling out my name from inside the fridge!

[ P.S. Oh, and my Facebook friends are not the kind who hurl pyrotechnical abuse at others on my space. I will not allow it. Not since 2010, when I publicly removed that Yvonne person (who styles herself as an autism advocate for women), because she called one of my friends a “moron.” Everyone has behaved beautifully since. Well, I just remove anyone who doesn’t. Simple. Delete. Vanquish all those who indulge in incendiary assaultive acts on others. I don’t need such ‘friends’ anyway. And Facebook has a very nice little feature called, the BLOCK. 🙂 ]

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7 thoughts on “folly

  1. You are entitled to your own opinion of course, and there is always room to listen. Usually one will attack the other because certain truths are hitting home, and, lets face it, it is so much easier to attack/dislike/correct someone else than to do the same to oneself!
    Anger is a secondary emotion, at which point the problem at hand is no longer the one that was being discussed at the outset.
    Not sure The Block is the right move though, but that is my opinion 🙂 xoxo

    • As I did state, yes, disagreement is healthy if both parties are willing to approach the difference with respect and decent good manners. Actually, I love a hearty intellectual discourse, the one thing I sadly miss very much now is my regular robust arguments with my best music buddy over drinks and choritzos, when I was a research postgrad at music school.

      Interesting view on the Block. I am curious, what would you suggest apart from Blocking someone who has resorted to abusing you online? And what would be your advice to a young person who encounters this kind of vicious personal attack online? This person is not my friend, she is a friend of a friend. so, although my friend knows this person, to me, she is just another nasty online abuser, nothing more. Bear in mind the scenario: this person has refused to stop abusing me and calling me very nasty names despite my effort at diffusing the situation. I have neither time nor energy to spend on helping to resolve or placate her psychological issues. For me, the Block is a great tool. I never need to see the person’s vitriol, nor would they need to be incensed by my existence. 😀 I much prefer that to continuous confrontation. I want to live in peace.

  2. I will tell you why I reject the block route… When my daughter was at school there was one girl who was particularly and savagely hurtful towards my daughter, and I was a terrified mother! I did not want my daughter to be influenced by THAT type!
    I was SO wrong!! That child needed love more than anything else in the world. She came from a very strict background, and being a very intelligent child, she hit back in the only way she was able.
    I hide my head in shame, but I have to admit that I blocked her in real life; I was even cool and dare I say it, mean, in my firm hand towards her. I SO regret that to this day, and wish more than anything that I could wipe my slate clean.
    Firm hand, yes, shutting someone out, never again for me. I will walk away, yes, but the door is always open should anyone desire to come back in on equal terms.

    How to deal with it? Listen past the words, apologise if one is needed, state how you feel re her personal attack on you (NOT ON)… and walk away.
    I know that is easy to say, and trust me I have a long way to go to perfect it, but still, that is MY goal.

    Also I should not have said “Not sure The Block is the right move”! I realise now that I am being confrontational – implying that you made the wrong move. It’s not for me to say what is right for you! I should have said that it would not be the right move for me and then explained why. Perhaps that is wrong too? I never know!! But you can tell me what you feel. That would help a lot. ❤

    • Ah I see. Well, Anne, I can see two very crucial differences between your citation and my experience.

      1. The abusive person was a young one. There is a chance that the young person may not yet understand the import of her actions etc. 2. This person is someone you knew in person. It makes sense that you might think it a better move to initiate a more conciliatory approach.

      In my case, 1. this person is an adult, not a child / teenager, 2. she is someone I do not know and will never meet, i.e. in practical terms, just another nasty abusive troll on the internet. While I have every sympathy for the underlying psychological struggles that every single abusive internet troll probably suffers to some degree or other, I have either time nor energy – I am severely limited in my resources and have to make great effort as it is to focus and prioritise how I spend them – to court the person and make whatever other nice-nice social overtures to better understand the person etc.

      For me, I choose to shut out. That is my choice and my way. It would also be my own advice to all young persons and adults on how to deal with abusive strangers on the internet. Remember, not a friend nor someone I know. A stranger.

      Anyhow, I am glad we are able to discuss our opinions respectfully. This should be the way between decent human beings. xo

      • Indeed! We learn by listening to others. That’s all.
        HOWEVER, there is never room for personal abuse, I agree. It is right and proper to state frimly that the discussion ends there. Reconciliation is always possible should both parties agree to be respectful of each other, yes. xo

      • If parties know each other personally, reconciliation is the best thing. For strangers on the internet, I would be far more careful though. However, yes, respectfulness is the key. xo

  3. Pingback: Betrayal of trust | aspielookinginsideout

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