A rainy day. Cooler temperatures. Soggy sensory depression. Ah, the world of the hypersenses. Extremes of wonder and horror. Never a middle ground. And it is different for every individual. Our only commonality is that our senses are turned up to full volume, and the regulating switch is broken or at best faulty and fiddly. Mitigation? For me, medication and distraction are at best marginally helpful. Yet, I would not trade my hypersenses for a dull low hum that pervades most people’s lives. Not now, having known the glorious realm of acuity, despite the negatives, and all others considered.
This song is not one of my best by far, I remember the circumstances under which I recorded it – heartbreak and betrayal in more than one dimension, physical illness, and I was also running a high fever during the recording. I was on a tight budget, financed by a beloved friend, and the work just had to go on regardless. You can hear the tightness in my voice, the anxiety and physical pain too, perhaps. Looking for love in all the most terrible and deceptive places. A con job, that is what notions of “family first,” religion, community, romance and the myriad hard-sell ideologies that we are fed from the day we were born into the confusing, fluid and untruthful neurotypical social structures and systems. Amidst and despite the mêlée, I have been lucky to find true friendships.
And now, for a brief period that she is gifted to me, I have my Angel – Lucy Like a Charm.
I do not need to anthropomorphise her. She is not a human being. She reminds every single day that she is a dog, a Greyhound, and a very special one. It is a different kind of love. Flawless, symbiotic, perhaps even a once in a lifetime event – and I am grateful, for this gift, and for the ability to perceive it.
“I Looked for Love” c.2000 – Lyrics: Dawn-joy Leong / Music: Christopher Fong
Vocals: Dawn-joy Leong / Piano: Christopher Fong