what the fish?

Fish is expensive, and I can no longer afford to eat my favourites as often as I used to. Once in a long while, though, when there is a super good deal on, I jump at the offer. So, this time around, I had the good fortune of enjoying one of my favourites, Tassal salmon! It was a 200g pack of smoked salmon for cooking, and I lightly pan fried it with thinly sliced leek, with a sprinkling of cubed feta cheese on top. Delicious! 

I thoroughly enjoyed that salmon feast, but I have to admit that fish is not a hot favourite for me. I was never fond of fish. As a child, apart from the delicious Cantonese dish, Deep Fried ‘Soon Hock’ (marble goby) I have avoided eating fish. It is that cloying soggy resonance wrapping itself around my throat, a sort of muddy hand that violently shakes the nausea bell. When I do eat fish, however, I tend to stick to certain kinds of fish. Texture is another important part of my experience of fish in all its splendour. Unlike many others, I prefer the smoother, more solid and ‘slimier’ textures of salmon, cod and other deep sea fish. I also much prefer fresh raw fish, i.e. sashimi, if it is of good quality. When it is served as sashimi, there is a much lighter, almost fragrant, odour. I am really not sure why I like the ‘soon hock,’ in this case, because it is not a deep sea fish. Perhaps it is the way the fish is prepared (deep fried with aromatic soya sauce concoction poured over it), and the fact that, to my senses, it does not stink of mud, and the texture of its flesh is smooth and not powdery-flakey. Fresh water fish, and even sea fish raised in farms, carry a distinct smell and taste of mud – well, distinct to me, though nobody else seems to mind it.

Sensory predilection and aversions are highly subjective, as with the general populace, no two autistic people share exactly similar profiles. Why do I even have to point this out? Well, really, I shouldn’t have to, but too many neurotypical assumptions about ‘sameness’ make this reminder a necessity. It is ludicrous, actually, because the logic is so flawed. But here we are, we live in an illogical social system.

Talking of mind boggling ill-logic, two reports on this morning’s news had me shaking my head with flabbergasted amazement. First, the masses of people queueing up outside a doughnut shop in the cold winter air, waiting for it to open its doors for the first time. OK, I love food, but I tend not to express my passion that way. Then, there were gory video sequences of young men being gored by angry, fearful bulls in a horrible, barbaric festival in Italy dating back to medieval times. Erm. Am I supposed to feel any pity for these people? Oh, get this, a few of the people badly hurt hailed from Australia. Right. Travel halfway across the world, take part in a cruel, disgusting ‘sport’ infamous for the high casualty rates, and then what? What a waste of resources, the emergency rooms in hospitals should be put to better use, surely? Check out this site advertising this as a “fun” activity and an educational ‘cultural experience.’ It says, “Renowned the world over, this is one European festival definitely not to be missed!” Sorry. I have little empathy in this case. And this is the neurotypical social system that labels us autistic people “abnormal”?

What has this to do with fish? I am not sure, but the association is there. I just don’t want to analyse my every thought and have to explain it every step of the way. The neurotypicals don’t have to do that, so why should autistics?

Have a good day, my friends! And try not to chase any bulls. There are safer ‘fun’ things to do, even if you are neurotypical. 🙂


2 thoughts on “what the fish?

  1. Strangely, I still don’t like fish, just DO NOT, though we have found a takeaway that grills hake, with spices, that is delicious, and I don’t mind Angelfish on the fire.
    I haven’t really even considered why this is, but I suspect smell has an association role to play (the smell of fish at the docks or anywhere en masse where cleaning has been happening is beyond horrible!).
    I do love raw salmon though, thinly sliced, but salmon is an extreme luxury for us here. Sashimi you call it – had to google that! 🙂 Sushi with fish is great always!

    Your salmon dish looks delicious, as does you teatime treat!

    • Thanks for dropping by! I am sure this is more than just coincidence – there hasn’t been much study into sensory aspects of autism, and it also varies from person to person, but it’s interesting that you share my dislike for fish and yet you too make the exception for raw salmon, i.e. sashimi!

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