My Lucy reminds me all the time about goodness, Grace and gratitude. I am so lucky to have her. I made a tray of non-gluten oat and cheese biscuit today. It looked boring and bland, it was a little more crumbly than I would’ve liked, but it tasted good anyway. (Photo taken before cutting into smaller bite-sized squares.) This will last me awhile. The brain worm that these two visual images triggered in my mind? Here…
When I was a child, I grieved and recoiled from the horror that I saw in the world, as I battled my own demons of pain. As I grew older, but not yet wiser, I wanted to right all wrong, save all mankind and the animal kingdom along with it, preach salvation and repentance to the rich and bring food, welfare and comfort to the poor. Then a little along the way, I became very angry, and shook my fists in rage at heaven and earth and daring hell to consume me, while trembling with inner fear of retribution for my sin of wrath.
Now, I am content to trundle along in my little rusty wheelbarrow, doing what I love, being grateful and dedicated to goodness in my own small sphere. I am just a tiny droplet in a vast fathomless ocean. I am aging, nearer my end than the beginning, with a severely limited body that has never seen a day completely free from pain. My brilliance is not for the world to admire, but for me to enjoy. And if I can bless just one person in one day as I go about my innocuous journey, I feel a glow of satisfaction resonating with colourful contrapuntal melisma in my deepest caverns.
After a little crash-nap this afternoon, I went with Lucy to collect my veggie and fruit box from Thoughtful Foods. We met a young couple who were quite enthralled by Lucy. Before Lucy came into my life, I would never think of speaking with strangers in this way. Now, every interaction is an opportunity for meaningful advocacy. I said my well rehearsed piece on Greyhounds and what wonderful dogs they are, and added the bit about autism and service dogs. The young lady divulged that her brother is autistic too. I told her to look into a service dog for her brother and to Google search for MindDog Australia. A meeting that may never take place again, but is significant to me, and I hope it would be to the young couple too. MindDog’s Cath Phillips and Gayl O’Grady have made such a huge difference in my life, and Lucy’s too, and I know many more people have been blessed by this wonderful organisation. (There should be more like them, really!)
The thing about tiny droplets is we are only useful if one is very thirsty. If one is full and sated and not in need of anything, a tiny droplet makes no difference, no whisper, no sound and takes up no space when it falls into oblivion. That is fine by me. I now have no wish to either shake my fists or change the terribly wrong world. I just want to look at what is right within my own sphere and be grateful for it all, and perhaps share a bit from the extras I have.
Contemplating Miss L, that neighbourhood con-woman and all round horror, I realise that although she may have made off with my earthly goods, I have nevertheless gained a wealth that she will never understand or enjoy, unless she can see life through the clear glass of simplicity. I am content to live by Grace. I am nothing but a tiny droplet, but I don’t need to steal and cheat for my happiness. Droplets are super cool. We contain myriad rainbows. 🙂