A beautiful sunny, warm Sunday at my art studio. Just me and Lucy here, and the very kind and friendly security officer, Lucy’s favourite one, who popped in to say hello. Finalised the list of things I need moved back to my home, to join the others in a box bound for Cardiff. Having a sugar boost with hot chocolate and too many marshmallows. I am so lucky to have my Angel with me.
Just one more week to go. Anxiety levels have long hit the roof, broken through, all shit flung from whirring fan, and settled into bobbing flotsam and jetsam in the seething sea of nothingness. That is my mental state right now. But I am persisting.
The one Aspie trait that I am now relying on is the kind of dogged persistence, stubborn perseverance and intense focus that becomes oblivious to all else while pursuing the goal ahead. Much like my now Princess, former racing greyhound, Lucy, when she goes into “chase the lure at any cost” mode. Have you seen the look in the eyes of the racing greyhound on the tracks? It is as if they become possessed with something that drives them on, without reason, intellect, or care for their life and limb. Sadly, many suffer injuries, some fatal, others given the death sentence just because their owners don’t care to pay vet’s fees to save a dog that has become useless to them thereafter, and the lucky few, like Lucy, are ‘retired’ with long lasting minor ailments as a result of injuries suffered at the tracks. OK, so I don’t think I am in any peril, but the intense focus is somewhat similar. Well, I’ve managed to scrape up enough money to pay for Lucy’s boarding and to buy a bag of her food, but I didn’t manage to sell anything at my ill-fated garage sale yesterday (apart from one cheap woman who bought a vintage Ferragamo belt for $20 and as new never worn Fila exercise gear for $10, and still had the cheek to bargain for a lower price!), I don’t have the money for the postage of my installations, I don’t have time left to do everything I planned to do, I don’t have any idea how I will get through this week – but I just will do it. Focus. Keep going. Be oblivious. Stubborn. Aspie Bunny. Go. Go. Go.
Anyone want to buy quality designer fashion in pristine condition at hilariously low prices, to help a poor Aspie artist get her act to the UK? Send me a message, or check out my next post…